Why ME? (Dealing With Embarrassment)

Hi

Now, I am someone who for some reason ends up in a lot of embarrassing situations or embarrassing things just seem to fling themselves right at me. I don't know what it is about me or why it happens but anyone who has been around me will probably agree that I am an embarrassment magnet.

I have many stories I could insert, from the time my mum invited someone I barely knew over for a sleepover when I was 14 and we sat in silence for literally the entire night to the time I first went for a pap smear (too much information? sorry). But whether it be something little or something huge, almost on a daily basis I'll end up doing something stupid. This could be because I really dislike serious situations so I tend to make a joke out of everything... Turns out not everyone is always ready for sarcasm. Anyway... Seeing as my entire life has been and probably will continue to be a stream of humiliating events I thought I'd share a few things to keep in mind and help you through your own embarrassing situations:

1. It Wont Last Forever

That moment when you're doing a presentation in front of a huge group of people, you're really nervous and you go to make an enthusiastic introduction but while doing so you get a little too enthusiastic, end up throwing your speech notes over the other side of the room while opening your arms into a "welcome to my presentation" motion and have to scurry over to pick them all up while everyone is staring at you wondering how you've made it this far in life? Yeah, I've been there. Only, I'm incredibly prone to my entire face going bright red so add that to the scenario and basically my mind decides that this is it. I've had a good life but at this very point I'm better off on another planet. I don't know if anyone else does this (I assume they do..) But I will go home, sit on my bed and try to distract myself with anything I can while making endless plans in my head on ways to never leave the house again (yay for supermarkets delivering now!).

But, sadly, life doesn't stop so you can take the seven thousand years you feel like you need to recover. The next day you have to go back and maybe face those people again. But, they will forget. It is much more of a big deal to you than it is everyone else. No one else has gone home and spent 12 hours thinking about what happened, only you. Besides, if someone does bring it up, you can just be the 'quirky funny one'. Which brings me to number two.

2. Laugh With Them

If you've done something embarrassing, everyone is laughing and all eyes are on you: Your very best bet is to join them. I think in life it's excellent to have the ability to laugh at yourself. However, I will admit that when you're red faced and wishing that people would focus on absolutely anything but you... this can be hard to do. But if you laugh, even if you don't feel like laughing, and acknowledge what's happened... then you're letting them know that you're in on the joke and you think it's funny too. "You can't hear them laughing if you're laughing louder" <-- I don't know who came up with that quote but it's brilliantly true and I love it.

3. You'll Become More Confident 

A bit of this could have come with age... BUT the more you embarrass yourself the less you'll care. This may sound obvious to some people or completely stupid to others but in my opinion it works. I used to be so, so shy. Let me tell you, when you're incredibly shy and also incredibly... for lack of a better word, goofy... well life can be hard. It didn't matter how hard I tried I would seem to have people looking at me. Don't get me wrong, I still hate people looking at me. But I don't care anywhere near as much as I used to. In fact, things that I look back on and found horribly embarrassing five years ago, if they happened to me today I wouldn't care at all. Now, if I do something stupid and people laugh I don't have to force myself to laugh with them, I just do. The smaller things aren't so much embarrassing anymore but funny.

4. Nobody Is Thinking Badly Of You

This is something I used to struggle with a lot (and still sometimes do). Whenever I would do something embarrassing I would be convinced that everyone was looking at me and thinking I was an absolute idiot who didn't even deserve to be in the same room as them. But let's be honest... If I look at it from a logical perspective pretty much no one is thinking that. Most likely, people are a) glad it's not them, b) feeling bad and wishing they could help or c) not paying attention in the first place. There may be a select few people who are just generally pretty miserable sitting back going "idiot" but these people are rare, and they would be thinking that about anyone whether they had done something embarrassing or not. Nobody likes those people anyway. Which brings me to my fifth and final point...

5. You're Likeable

People like people they can relate to, and let's face it... clumsy people are relatable. We're all a bit clumsy and we all occasionally do embarrassing things. I find I like the person that gets up and does the speech red faced or almost falls over the shopping baskets at the supermarket. Especially when they're able to laugh it off. Those people are the fun, relatable people that others will like. I don't want to hear from the person who has done everything in life perfectly, I want to hear from the person who once ended up falling face first in the sales bin at the chocolate store or the person who went to put an apple into a bag at the grocery store and the entire shelf of apples fell on them. THEY are the stories you want to hear and the people you want to hang out with.

I hope this was some help to someone, have a lovely day!

x

Little Ways To Be Happier

Hi

I know that sometimes it can be hard to stay happy and it's easy to get stuck in a rut. I thought I would compile a list of things that I personally do that make me a lot happier just in case it works for anyone else who may need a little boost!

Don’t Take Things Too Seriously

Have a little fun with what you’re doing. The older you get the faster life seems to go by and let me tell you: life is far too short to take everything seriously.

Laugh At Yourself

Life is so much easier when you know how to laugh at yourself. Have you ever had one of those moments where you have completely humiliated yourself in front of someone or even a lot of people and you stand there wishing that if there was any time for the aliens to show themselves and take you away now would we be the time? Because I have had many of those. But these situations can be eased slightly, if you can see the funny side and laugh at your mistakes, chances are other people will laugh along too. 

Cuddle Your Pet

To your pet you are their whole world. They may only be a short part of your life but to them you are everything. Your pets do not care what embarrassing thing you did, the mistake you made at work, the fact that you’ve been putting off doing washing for over a month. They love you no matter what is going on in your life or anything you have done. Just a little cuddle, hold or pat to them means the world. Once you truly realise this a little pat, hold or cuddle with your pet will mean the world to you too. Nothing is more comforting to me than cuddling my little ball of fluff!

Exercise

I can almost hear the internal groans of “ergh, shut up, I’ve heard it before”. Believe me I am the most lazy person you have ever met, I would fake injury notes in school to get out of PE (Physical Education) and I never thought I would encourage people to exercise BUT you do feel better for it. I find the only way I enjoy exercise is to listen to my ipod while I do it and imagine I’m the most beautiful, fit person in the world. I’m also usually a great singer in my imagination. Exercise gives me a sense of accomplishment and it’s so nice to eventually be able to do more and more physical things with ease.

Do Something Productive

When I say ‘something productive’ it doesn’t necessarily mean some big task that will take all day. Just something little like return that email you’ve been putting off, do the dishes, get the food shop out of the way, make a start on that assignment, anything small that will make you feel a sense of accomplishment. If you do one small productive thing every day, soon you’ll slowly get on top of things and that is the best feeling.

Set Some Time For You

One afternoon a week (you can organise more or less, up to you!) set aside some time to do whatever you want – guilt free. Now, I’m one to always put off important things and watch my favourite tv shows instead but I can never properly enjoy them because of the guilt in the back of my mind telling me that I SHOULD be doing something else instead. But if you set aside some time for absolutely nothing else but yourself to do whatever you want whether that’s taking a nap, reading, watching a movie, going for a walk, drawing, going to the gym, knitting, practicing model poses in the mirror – whatever you want, you will find yourself feeling a little more rejuvenated.

Plan Something To Look Forward To

Day-to-day life can get quite boring when all you feel like you’re doing is going through the motions of work and/or study then sleeping and starting all over again. One way to make the grind of work, University or school a little more bearable is to plan something to look forward to. This can be anything, depending on your situation. It can be a small holiday away, a big holiday away, a pamper day at home doing whatever you want, a trip to the zoo, whatever it is you want! Half the fun of doing these things is the excitement of the lead up to them!

Tidy

Another thing I never thought I would be the one to encourage. I hate cleaning. It’s a lot of effort and things only end up messy again. But I find when my house or room is cluttered, clothes are everywhere and I’m falling over things as I walk to my bed that I’m a lot more stressed. Probably because cleaning it up is one more thing on my mind that I have to do at some point. Although I dislike doing it once I have tidied my room or my house (it doesn’t have to be immaculate- just tidy) I feel a lot better. I’m a lot calmer and somehow my mood just lifts – even if sometimes it’s only slightly. But just today I did a tidy up and It’s put me in quite a good mood! Accomplishment achieved.

Look After Yourself

This seems simple and anyone reading this is probably thinking ‘well isn’t that just the most obvious thing I’ve ever seen’. But not looking after themselves is something a lot of people are guilty of even if they don’t realise it (including me). What I mean by this is go to bed a little earlier, make sure you’re getting enough sleep! It sounds simple, but so many of us try to run on so little sleep and we end up feeling terrible for it. Rest when you need it, eat when you need it, take a break when you need it, try to have all three meals, and be kind to yourself. Too many times something will go wrong and we will be so horribly harsh on ourselves. You are just a person, people make mistakes and that’s okay.

Change Your Mindset

You’ve probably heard it before but happiness is a choice. I don’t think anyone wakes up and is just constantly happy without making even a slight effort to be. Of course, some people are just naturally more energetic or bubbly but it always takes a conscious effort to be happy. No one can be happy all the time, so by this I don’t mean that whenever you feel sad you have to push those sad feelings down and ignore them while trying desperately not to cry. It’s okay to feel sad occasionally and let yourself work through it. By changing your mindset I just mean to sit and think: “Everything is not perfect, but I do have some good things in my life and I want to be happy. Today I’m going to make the best of things”. Go into the day with the mindset that it could be a good day if given the chance to be!

Be Nice To Others – They’ll Be Nice Back

The way you treat others (as I’m sure you know) as a huge impact on how they will treat you. You can’t be mean, moody, inattentive or uninterested and expect other people to engage with you in a really happy, positive way. Mostly because they’ll feel like you don’t want to engage with them. The nicer and friendlier you are the more likely other people will treat you the same back. Nothing makes my day more than talking to someone who is lovely and seems to want to talk to me, even if it’s only a brief encounter at the petrol station. It’s not to say that 100% of people will be nice to you if you’re nice to them, I wish it was that way but some people are just going through a rough time or are in a bad mood and don’t always respond in the way you deserve if you’re being kind to them. But don’t let that discourage you because most of the time it will have good results and even if it doesn’t it’s nothing to do with you it’s just something they’re personally going through. Not too long ago I did a little post on kindness with some quotes, if you want to check that out click here!

Have Breakfast

I know that everyone everywhere says breakfast is the most important meal of the day. I’m not saying that (It might be, I don’t know, I haven’t looked into it). What I’m saying is that you will feel so much more energetic and just… prepared for the day if you have breakfast. I was always one to skip breakfast, I had places to be and I would much rather an extra half an hour of sleep than to be up making food. But in the last few months I’ve been making a huge effort to have breakfast because when I do my days go so much better. I find I feel less tired, I don’t get as many headaches and I feel less nauseas by the afternoon. I actually look forward to my coffee and toast every morning now.

No One Is Happy All The Time

This is very important and something I personally have only just come to truly realise. Of course it seems obvious but a lot of the time we don’t really let it sink in.  Whenever I would feel sad I would try desperately to snap out of it because it wasn’t a pleasant feeling, everyone else was happy and having fun and I wanted to be like that too. But it is okay to be sad. Sometimes something happens in our lives that makes us sad and sometimes we’re sad and not even that sure why. But that’s okay, we need to feel sadness to feel happiness. Everyone, no matter who they are or how happy they always seem will be sad sometimes. Let yourself be sad, give yourself some time, listen to some music, mope around – whatever you need. But know when to try to pick yourself up again. 

It’s Not The End Of The World

Often things will happen, these can be quite big things like failing school or university, getting fired from work, anything. And sometimes it can be smaller things that feel like a big deal or just happen to mean an awful lot to you. One thing to remind yourself is that no matter what happens or how much it feels like everything is falling apart and you’ll never get back on your feet: It’s not the end of the world. More specifically it’s not the end of your world. It may feel like it is and that’s understandable, especially when it’s a huge part of your life or something you’ve been working towards for a very long time. But sometimes things aren’t meant to be. Sometimes we just need to try again and sometimes we need to let it go.  Your world will keep turning, you will pick yourself up again and may even end up in an even better place than you had first imagined. As long as you keep trying you will be okay.

I hope that some of these have been of even a little help to you. Chin up and have a lovely day!

x

Brighten Your Day: Quotes and Kindness

Hi

So sometimes we can get a little glum, lose motivation or have our doubts about the genuine nature about those around us. It can (on occasion) only take something very small to ruin your day, or put you in a terrible mood. 

I am a huge believer in the importance of being kind, polite and showing understanding towards others. It takes absolutely nothing to use your manners, ask someone how are they or even just smile. Just doing something as simple as using your manners can turn someones day around. You will be surprised at the difference it will make to the people you're dealing with.

For this post I have compiled a few quotes that I have come across that I like, that motivate me or that I think are just some nice things to hear (or in this case read) on occasion.

~ “I’ve been absolutely terrified every moment of my life – and I’ve never let it keep me from doing a single thing I wanted to do.” – Georgia O’Keeffe

~ “Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible.” – Dalai Lama

~ “Most of us have far more courage than we ever dreamed we possessed.” – Dale Carnegie

~ “Be somebody who makes everyone feel like a somebody”

~ “Be kinder than necessary because everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle.” – T.H. Thompson and John Watson

~ “We can’t help everyone, but everyone can help someone.” – Ronald Reagan

~ “You must do the things you think you cannot do” – Eleanor Roosevelt

~ "Your mood should not dictate your manners."

And please, please, please remember that bringing someone else down will not make you any happier. So whenever possible be kind and encourage people, not only when things are rough but when praise and appreciate their success too. It costs nothing and it may even make you feel a little happier also!

I don't own the lovely picture above and didn't crate any of the quotes used, where I have known who did I have written that next to the quote. For a few of them I didn't know.

I hope you are well, I hope people have been kind to you and I hope to see you around this blog again!

If you have any stories of perhaps participating in an act of kindness or receiving an act of kindness that you want to share - please do below! 

x