honest

i am actually cripplingly sad. and i have no one to talk to. i am completely alone.

could really do with a win or some good news.

What's Left To Lose?

Have you ever been in a situation where you have this one big thing that you dread happening? The one thing that you think to yourself if it happened everything would fall apart, your world would be upside down and you don't know how you would be okay?

I think we all have something, or at least something similar. 

Well this thing happened to me. A while ago now, perhaps almost a year.. And it wasn't as bad as I thought. I had nightmares, I was completely alone, isolated and miserable.... For a while... But things slowly picked up. No, I slowly picked up. I realised that what had happened was the best thing that could have happened. I was a much, much stronger person. I was more me than I'd ever been. I was free and hopeful and happy. 

My "worst" situation had happened and I'd not only survived but come out the other side better and happier than before. I'd lost a lot but I'd gained a lot in myself.

And then it happened again. Not exactly the same... Not as intense but again. All over again it felt like everything was shattering down around me. This time wasn't as catastrophic as the last but it's been much, much more damaging. 

None of this is in reference to a break up and I don't want sympathy or anything similar, I just need a place to get my thoughts straight. 

This time I feel like I've not only lost everything from the past but everything from the new, happy, hopeful life I'd been building. Even though it's an insane generalisation I do honestly feel like my hope as been taken. I had worked so, so hard to get back to being a person who could let themselves hope for good things to happen and not live in constant fear that it would be taken away by someone. After all, my past was in the past, right? I was free now. I was free to be me and to be happy and to want things and strive for things but it turns out I wasn't exactly. 

I had one huge symbol of hope and achievement that I was working towards. Something to symbolise that I was free from not only living how other people wanted me to but living in fear of them. And then it was taken away. But not taken away by unfortunate circumstances or uncontrollable events. But from someone who I never, ever, in a million years thought would do something like that.

Someone who I'd even confided in about how terrified I was and how poorly I was treated before and how happy I was to not live like that - to have my life as my own. Now It feels like it's all happening again by someone I'd trusted with my past. Will I ever get to have my life without someone else choosing how it goes? Without someone else taking my hope?

I am literally scared to have the prospect of good things happening to me or in my life because every time they have, they have been taken away. Usually by someone I've trusted. 

I am angry. No, I am beyond angry. Sometimes the memory of it will just creep into my mind unexpectedly and if I let myself think about it I will start shaking with anger. Party at these people for what's happened, but mostly at myself for letting it happen. Especially again. I knew better. I know better... But I'm too scared to do anything about it.

But now I'm stuck. I'm stuck in this odd mind frame. I lost 'everything' and built back up but then I lost everything I built back up. What's left to lose?

I've lost what I had hoped for. My idea of being free, happy and hopeful. Not only because I lost my huge symbolic gesture of expressing it but I've lost the energy to keep trying for it. It will only be taken away again, right? That's the pattern.

So now I'm back. I'm right back at the start. I'm alone, isolated, miserable and now hopeless.

I've had a headache for two weeks and counting, I struggle to leave the house because I get panic attacks out of no where, I cannot sleep without having nightmares about people and I constantly feel like I'm either going to faint or vomit. 

I don't think they realise what they've taken from me. I don't think anyone really does, all they see is the symbol. But something like this is something I can't seem to forgive. 

I have no one. And I really don't trust anyone either. How sad that a laptop is quite literally all I can confide in to try to sort out my thoughts. 

We're Psychic!? | Predicting The Future

Yet another video! Oh, the excitement!

You know the deal, click here for more videos or to subscribe (or both!) https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCNnyEK4dU-MgGphhBn5BOaA

and also have a lovely day!

x

Thrift Shop Style Challenge!

How exciting, a new video! I hope you enjoy and leave a like, comment and even subscribe if you would like! 

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCNnyEK4dU-MgGphhBn5BOaA <-- channel link

Have a lovely day

x

Make It In A Minute! | Katie VS Shannon

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Adult Colouring?

Hi

So between my new obsession with Teen Wolf and Kingston chocolate biscuits I have found myself really enjoying something that I previously thought was ridiculous. You may have guessed by the title that I'm referring to adult colouring books. 

I never saw the point of them... I figured if you wanted to do some colouring why can't you just buy a normal kids colouring book and some pencils instead of something so intricate. But then at Christmas last year during a family game of secret Santa I won an adult colouring book. My mum then gave me a pack of gel pens and if I'm honest they're the absolute key to the joy of the adult colouring books. Ever since the morning after Christmas Day I was basically obsessed with my gel pens and my adult jungle colouring book. 

The satisfaction of 1. Getting to own gel pens as an adult and 2. Completing something so intricate is brilliant. It's something to occupy you that also gives you a great sense of achievement. Technically I guess it's not much of an achievement but it feels like one and that's all that matters. 

So if you're like me and you maybe sometimes work nights when it gets quiet or are also like me and just like feeling like you've achieved something then I strongly advise trying a colouring book and some gel pens. Watch yourself become obsessed with a colouring book.

The first picture I finished, feel the pride.

But also don't close the book too fast after you've finished a picture or else it will smudge and you'll want to cry. 

Happy colouring!

On a side note, my friend and I have started a YouTube channel and if you would like to check it out and maybe even like, comment and subscribe please click here: 

 www.youtube.com/channel/UCNnyEK4dU-MgGphhBn5BOaA

The Emoji Challenge !

Let's Play... DEADPOOL - Part 1

New video! This time we're attempting Dead Pool for the first time.

Enjoy!

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Heads Up *FAIL* !

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2 Truths, 1 Lie | How Well Do We Know Each Other?

Youtube?

Ahoy hoy

I've been gone for a while, kidnapped by work, exams and Christmas. But my friend Shannon and I have started up a new little hobby which has turned out to be so, so much fun. That hobby is youtube!

If you want to check out our videos click this very link: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCNnyEK4dU-MgGphhBn5BOaA

And if you also post any videos then leave a comment or send a message, it would be lovely to hear from you and have youtube buddies!

Hope you've been well and are having a lovely day or evening!

x

Exam Study Tips and Halloween Photo Diary

Hi

I haven't post anything for quite awhile and this is due to the excellent experience of Exam Time. Yes, I've been sitting at home trying to remember 6 months of study within a week. Some may read this and think that it would be easy to go over what you've already learnt within a week, that's heaps of time! and yes, it is a fair amount of time but it's also very difficult when you're sitting at home looking at books on statistics when you'd literally rather be doing... well.. anything else. Suddenly house chores become important and you're on your hands and knees scrubbing tiles which you haven't done since last exam period.

But not anymore! Because, I, the queen of procrastination (can you guess that I'm meant to be studying right now?) have some tips for you:

1. Start at least a few days before your exam and do little by little. Not only will your study time per day be shorter, but you'll remember more. Research shows that shorter bursts of study are much more effective than long, last minute cramming. Do Short bursts!

2. Give yourself something to look forward to after you've done a certain amount of study. I let myself have a bag of popcorn while watching youtube videos for the rest of the day after i re-watch two lectures. You may want to modify this, but whatever works!

3. If you start trying to read and you find yourself taking nothing in, do something else for five minutes (get the dishes out of the way) and come back to it. 

4. Get enough sleep. The main thing that can bring down someones ability to learn or do well is lack of sleep. Our brains don't function properly if we're sleep deprived. Even if it's the night before the exam, you're better off studying and then stopping in time for you to get at least 7 hours sleep. 

5. Cramming doesn't really work for anything but multiple choice tests. Your brain can only remember so much in a short amount of time. If you have options to jog your memory and you only have to look for an answer that feels familiar... it may help with multiple choice. but if you're doing essay or short answer exams... the earlier you start your study, the better. This also stands for multiple choice, but especially for essay or short answer. 

6. Relate concepts you need to remember to something familiar. For example,  catecholamines are a neurochemical associated with appetite which triggers hunger. I remember this because it has 'cat' at the start and cats are always wanting food and hungry. Ta Da, memory triggered!

But the main thing to take from this is, start early and study a few hours at a time. Also, remember to sleep and you're good!

NOW for those who may want to avoid study all together (me too) here is a little collage of what I've been up to over the last little while:

I've spent my time making halloween cupcakes, going out to dinner, watching people learn to surf and wishing I could swim at the beach and buying MAC make-up to try out. Needless to say, the MAC make-up was the most exciting. Trying out that 'Kylie Jenner - Whirl' colour!

I hope you've been well - I really need to get a posting schedule happening!

P.S. I'm trying out Bondi Sands new Liquid Gold tan tonight. Slightly terrified mixed with excited.

P.P.S. I'm obsessed with pintrest now. If you want to find me: @katieleeft 

Becoming an Adult

Hi

So today (or any random day, depending when you read this...) I went to a Cheap As Chips store. Which does sound like a delicious low priced sea food restaurant but you are wrong. For those who don't know (do they have Cheap As Chips everywhere? I don't know, and google would mean opening another tab and that's not going to happen - anyway). 

For those who don't know Cheap As Chips is just a store full of pretty much everything you could imagine (bits and bobs) that are just incredibly cheap. They do flowers, candles, decorations, tables, pillows, toys, candy, fake plants, really unflattering sunglasses, you name it. 

So I'm at Cheap As Chips and I stumble across this candle. But not just ANY candle.. this one comes with it's own little holder or 'tray' as I've been calling it. 

Just Your Average Candle

At this point, I'm thrilled. I love candles and I've truly believed they're quite literally the mark of being an adult. Don't get me wrong, this is not my first candle. I've been dotting candles everywhere I can for a few years now to create the illusion of maturity but I don't feel it's ever really worked for me.

Alas I find the aforementioned candle. You may be thinking "Wow, it's a cheap candle on a dish. Great job, genius. You're all grown up. Enjoy your taxes." And to that I say fair enough and also, rude. But I'll forgive you because I KNOW there's more to this candle that you might think. Once you turn it around...

KIDDING: PEBBLES.

BOOM. TINY PEBBLES. You get to decorate your own candle. It comes with a tray, a candle and a packet of pebbles for you to place on the tray and then display proudly to everyone who visits your home.

I know what you're thinking now. "Wow. Pebbles. That must have cost her a fortune. Ten dollars at least. Those pebbles make the value sky-rocket."

Hey Big Spender

INCORRECT AGAIN, MY FRIEND. Although the value in my heart skyrocketed. The value on the price tag says three dollars. 

And it is now, looking at the sort-of-creation that I feel I have truly succeeded as an adult. I have decorated. 

Grueling Process

Inspirational

It turns out that it's not leaving your parents house, paying your own bills, your own rent, buying your own food, your own petrol, having a job or starting University. It's candles. Candles are the key to your feelings of success.

Don't be me. Don't wait until you're 23. Do it now. Do it while you're young and don't spill the pebbles on the floor while trying to open the packet.

Adult

Prosper. 

Change

Hi

I'm sure you're aware that as we get older we naturally change. Sadly, yourself and those around you won't all change at the same rate. This can be a little hard to accept.

I've found recently that I'm at a point in my life where I just don't have the energy to put into things that shouldn't need it. For a while I wondered why I was so disconnected from the people around me lately and what had happened to everyone. Turns out, they're all pretty much the same but I've (for a while, unknowingly) changed. A lot.

Change is good and you can't avoid it. But sometimes you change in a way that takes you from those around you.

I found the hard way that I had people in my life who were just not good for me. I didn't realise this until I'd started getting a little more confident in myself, realising what I wanted and standing up for myself. These people were quite cruel to me; controlling and unkind. But I'd been around these people for so long that I honestly didn't realise how cruel they were being until I decided to stand up for myself. Then it hit me. I was always anxious, waiting for them to be cruel. Waiting for the moment they would turn. I just never knew if I was going to get 'nice' them or 'mean' them and it was horrible. I didn't want to live my life like that, even if it meant losing my friends.

I'm not going to lie, change can be lonely. I probably feel more isolated now than ever before, and I'm still waiting for the day that I'll get horrible messages of anger towards me for distancing myself.

But I'm not okay with that being my life anymore.

Sometimes you have to break down before you can build yourself back up.  All you can do is know that in the long run you're doing what's best for you, even if it's tough now.

Why ME? (Dealing With Embarrassment)

Hi

Now, I am someone who for some reason ends up in a lot of embarrassing situations or embarrassing things just seem to fling themselves right at me. I don't know what it is about me or why it happens but anyone who has been around me will probably agree that I am an embarrassment magnet.

I have many stories I could insert, from the time my mum invited someone I barely knew over for a sleepover when I was 14 and we sat in silence for literally the entire night to the time I first went for a pap smear (too much information? sorry). But whether it be something little or something huge, almost on a daily basis I'll end up doing something stupid. This could be because I really dislike serious situations so I tend to make a joke out of everything... Turns out not everyone is always ready for sarcasm. Anyway... Seeing as my entire life has been and probably will continue to be a stream of humiliating events I thought I'd share a few things to keep in mind and help you through your own embarrassing situations:

1. It Wont Last Forever

That moment when you're doing a presentation in front of a huge group of people, you're really nervous and you go to make an enthusiastic introduction but while doing so you get a little too enthusiastic, end up throwing your speech notes over the other side of the room while opening your arms into a "welcome to my presentation" motion and have to scurry over to pick them all up while everyone is staring at you wondering how you've made it this far in life? Yeah, I've been there. Only, I'm incredibly prone to my entire face going bright red so add that to the scenario and basically my mind decides that this is it. I've had a good life but at this very point I'm better off on another planet. I don't know if anyone else does this (I assume they do..) But I will go home, sit on my bed and try to distract myself with anything I can while making endless plans in my head on ways to never leave the house again (yay for supermarkets delivering now!).

But, sadly, life doesn't stop so you can take the seven thousand years you feel like you need to recover. The next day you have to go back and maybe face those people again. But, they will forget. It is much more of a big deal to you than it is everyone else. No one else has gone home and spent 12 hours thinking about what happened, only you. Besides, if someone does bring it up, you can just be the 'quirky funny one'. Which brings me to number two.

2. Laugh With Them

If you've done something embarrassing, everyone is laughing and all eyes are on you: Your very best bet is to join them. I think in life it's excellent to have the ability to laugh at yourself. However, I will admit that when you're red faced and wishing that people would focus on absolutely anything but you... this can be hard to do. But if you laugh, even if you don't feel like laughing, and acknowledge what's happened... then you're letting them know that you're in on the joke and you think it's funny too. "You can't hear them laughing if you're laughing louder" <-- I don't know who came up with that quote but it's brilliantly true and I love it.

3. You'll Become More Confident 

A bit of this could have come with age... BUT the more you embarrass yourself the less you'll care. This may sound obvious to some people or completely stupid to others but in my opinion it works. I used to be so, so shy. Let me tell you, when you're incredibly shy and also incredibly... for lack of a better word, goofy... well life can be hard. It didn't matter how hard I tried I would seem to have people looking at me. Don't get me wrong, I still hate people looking at me. But I don't care anywhere near as much as I used to. In fact, things that I look back on and found horribly embarrassing five years ago, if they happened to me today I wouldn't care at all. Now, if I do something stupid and people laugh I don't have to force myself to laugh with them, I just do. The smaller things aren't so much embarrassing anymore but funny.

4. Nobody Is Thinking Badly Of You

This is something I used to struggle with a lot (and still sometimes do). Whenever I would do something embarrassing I would be convinced that everyone was looking at me and thinking I was an absolute idiot who didn't even deserve to be in the same room as them. But let's be honest... If I look at it from a logical perspective pretty much no one is thinking that. Most likely, people are a) glad it's not them, b) feeling bad and wishing they could help or c) not paying attention in the first place. There may be a select few people who are just generally pretty miserable sitting back going "idiot" but these people are rare, and they would be thinking that about anyone whether they had done something embarrassing or not. Nobody likes those people anyway. Which brings me to my fifth and final point...

5. You're Likeable

People like people they can relate to, and let's face it... clumsy people are relatable. We're all a bit clumsy and we all occasionally do embarrassing things. I find I like the person that gets up and does the speech red faced or almost falls over the shopping baskets at the supermarket. Especially when they're able to laugh it off. Those people are the fun, relatable people that others will like. I don't want to hear from the person who has done everything in life perfectly, I want to hear from the person who once ended up falling face first in the sales bin at the chocolate store or the person who went to put an apple into a bag at the grocery store and the entire shelf of apples fell on them. THEY are the stories you want to hear and the people you want to hang out with.

I hope this was some help to someone, have a lovely day!

x

Weight Loss For Lazy People

Hi

Now, I am not someone who enjoys exercise or healthy food. I'm not active and I'm at my happiest when I'm laying in bed surrounded by pizza watching British comedies. But I'm at a point where while I'm not horribly over-weight I am also not exactly confident in how I look. 

Instead of staring at myself and willing the extra pounds to vanish with the power of my mind alone I've decided to do something about it. 

In the past I have gone about weight-loss the wrong way. I dramatically changed my diet and made sure I exercised to the point of suffocation every day until I was happy with my weight, then of course I decided I deserved a treat and would have pizza and I would eventually just fall back into old habits and end up exactly how I was before I started. This brings me to where I am now. This time I'm going to make a plan that is sustainable, that I won't eventually resent and I won't feel like I deserve a break from.

I find it easier (as you may have noticed) to present idea's or tips in list form. So here are my tips for sustainable weight loss for lazy people (like myself):

Food:

- Swap unhealthy things you would normally eat for a slightly more healthy option (i.e. instead of eating white bread opt for rye bread, instead of normal pasta go for wholegrain etc). By doing this you're not depriving yourself of the things you like, you're just changing them up where possible.

- Be as healthy as you can 80% of the time but allow yourself those treats that you love occasionally. That way you can still get something nice when you go out for dinner or have that dessert you love on the weekends. 80-20. Healthy 80%, treats 20%. Balance is key!

- Don't beat yourself up if you find yourself unable to resist a treat. I find I'm very guilty of this, if I've eaten well for a while and then I can't help myself and have some chocolate I will find myself really annoyed with myself and will often think "What's the point? I've already ruined my diet. Might as well quit all together." But that's not the case, in the grand scheme of things, a few pieces of chocolate aren't going to hurt.

- Don't dramatically change your diet right away. If you've gone from eating sausages for breakfast, a McDonalds burger for lunch and pizza for dinner (basically me) then suddenly start eating salad for every meal you're going to get awfully sick of your new healthy eating awfully fast. Change things slowly, start with swapping what you would normally eat for a slightly healthier option of the same thing (Rye bread instead of white bread). Slowly start swapping one meal at a time for a different healthier option and go from there. It's slower, but you're more likely to stick to it and not hate what you're eating.

- Drink water. You've heard it before and I hate being told to drink water but it's better for you than anything else out there and it helps with headaches. You may not suffer from headaches but I do and drinking water really does help. You can still have what you would regularly drink at first, perhaps just at meal times have your regular favourite drink and have water for the rest of the day. Then slowly cut back on your favourite regular drink until it's an occasional thing and you're mainly drinking water.

Exercise:

- Do it. I know, I hate it too. I find work out routines to do at home from youtube for the times I can't be bothered going to the gym.

- 30 minutes a day. Now, I do 30 minutes on the treadmill while at the gym while listening to my music and most days I love it. I create a scenario in my head where I'm a famous singer or something and get lost in it while I walk.

- Of course some days I go "nope, can't be bothered" and that's when I bring out the 'at home work out' where I do kicks, sit-ups, squats etc. Admittedly I don't do half an hours worth of these, but perhaps when I'm a little more fit I will. Riiiiight? Probably not.

- Exercise doesn't have to be intense routines or the gym. Go for a walk around the  block, force your dog to go with you if you feel self conscious, then you can say you're doing it for your dog not you if anyone gives you weird looks. That's what I do!

- Vigorously clean the house - That's a work out. Anything that gets your heart-rate up for a substantial amount of time counts!

- Sometimes I do sit ups in bed while laying watching TV Shows.

- Sometimes I lift light arm weights while laying in bed watching TV shows. Who says you need to give up being lazy to tone? Not me.

- As you feel yourself getting fitter, you'll want to do more. I know people always say that and when you're heaving for breath on the treadmill after ten minutes while drowning in your own sweat you don't believe it. I know I didn't, until one day I found myself walking at the place I usually did for half an hour and hardly felt exhausted at all - Then I realised it was working and I needed to up my game!

- Try to stick at it. By that I mean make it a regular thing, but don't be upset with yourself if  something comes up and you miss a day or you're exhausted from work, school, uni or what not and just want the afternoon to rest. You're human and that's fine, all your hard work won't go away because you miss a day.

- Set aside maybe the weekend where you don't HAVE to work-out, unless you're starting to love it in which case, go you! I usually have my weekend off.

Life In General:

- Don't get deflated and want to quit if you get sick or something happens and you miss a week of exercise and in that week you also fall back into your not-so-great eating habits. This is where I've just decided it's too late, not worth it and give up on the whole thing in the past. But it's not at all, a week or so isn't that long, it may take you a little bit to be back to your healthy self but don't let a set back hold you back completely!

- It's never too late to start again. If you DO decide it's too hard and give up, you can start it up again whenever you like. As long as you're trying, that's all that matters! It doesn't matter how many times you stop and start, the fact that you want it and you're still trying is better than never trying.

- You'll enjoy feeling yourself become fitter and healthier. That amazing feeling when you one day notice you've managed to carry all the shopping to the car in one go and you're not puffed is an excellent feeling.

- You'll enjoy that your clothes may start to fit a little looser. That is also an amazing feeling.

- Don't get too caught up in a vigorous exercise schedule (I tend to because it works for me to do it that way, but it doesn't for everyone), If you find that your schedule really only allows a work out three times a week then that's brilliant! That's more than you were doing before and you'll still see results.

- Be patient. Unfortunately fitness, health and weight loss aren't something we can see instant results for, which is what tends do throw me off. I walk around the block, come home, get changed and will always find myself checking for my amazingly slim and toned muscly body. I know it won't happen after one walk but I will look anyway because I am not missing out on that dream moment of happiness if it does!

- Scales are evil and you don't need them in your life. They won't tell you all that much anyway, especially not at the start. If you do have a goal weight in mind or want to check your scales, do it once when you start and then once again a few months down the track. Don't check it every day or every week. They will go up and down and all around and can really put you off if they've gone up. Which isn't necessarily a bad thing - you build muscle when you exercise which helps you lose weight. Not to say you'll be the hulk in a few months. You'll still lose weight, but the scales will fluctuate.

- If you're angry - Exercise. Whenever I'm angry I head straight for the gym (luckily, mine is 24 hour) and I just go for it. Not only do I feel less angry after, especially because I've been listening to angry music while running and also imagining all the scenarios where I say the right thing at the right time in the situation that's made me angry but because when I'm done I look down and the machine goes "you've burnt 300 calories". Yes.

I have gone on for long enough I feel. Most of what I've said here, you probably already know. None of it is ground breaking, doesn't involve a magic pill, won't happen over night and does involve a little effort. But, in my opinion, it's better than an intense diet that you'll stick to for a few weeks then end up hating and going back to all junk food all the time. Plus, it's worth the little changes. In my opinion, anyway!

I hope this helped even a little and that you're having a lovely day!

x

Life Update & Some Cheeky Memes

Hi

I've been absent for a little while - Uni has gone back and everything has gotten busier than ever. Which is pretty darn' good. It's nice to have a lot going on, especially since some of it is pretty good! While there has been a few struggles with family members health and a few others things I would mostly like a place to share the good things that have been happening! 

Firstly I've been seeing a lot more of my friends lately. I can be quite a solitary person at times, I like to sit in my own little bubble at home but it's been absolutely lovely to be seeing people who I definitely don't see enough and laughing until I feel physically sick. Whether this be going out for dinner, seeing movies, planning trips or even just sitting on the couch in track pants watching reality tv shows. I'd forgotten how nice it is to just make time to be around people.

More good news - my little Toby pup finally got to take the cone of shame off his head. He's now able to pick up all his toys and throw them all around my room again (yaay). His foot is slowly getting better and tomorrow him and I are heading to my parents place for a weekend visit, which will be nice. My bed at their place is the most comfortable thing in the world so there's a 85% chance I'm just going to spend the whole time there napping.

Above are some silly internet/tv things that have been popping into my head and making me laugh as I go about my day to day life lately, so I thought I'd post them here. I keep pulling the McDonalds girl pose whenever I'm mildly annoyed at something and it's starting to become a problem. I look ridiculous.

Lastly, I've met some pretty great people recently. So here is to all the good things happening right now and hoping they continue. 

I hope you are well and that all good things come your way!

x

Goodbye Long Hair!

Hello, I am back!

The most interesting thing that has happened to be lately (apart from passing all my exams - yay!) is that I cut all my hair off. Goodbye lovely long hair and hello 3x shorter showers. I'm in a very love/hate relationship with my haircut at the moment. I cannot definitively decide if I like it, but it's been done now so I'm going to choose to like it!

before and after

Now I have new hair and one week of holidays left I've decided to give myself even more of a make over and have started back on the fake tan. In case you aren't aware I am legitimately the most pale person to ever walk the earth, I am translucent. Some people love being pale and that's excellent but of course because I am pale it's the 'the grass is always greener' situation and I've just always wished I was naturally tan. So I've taken it upon myself to spend forever sitting on the bathroom for with a tanning mitt every few days. I've been using Bondi Sands which is an Australian brand which I really like. It goes quite dark and doesn't go patchy or fade too fast like a lot of other tanners. It does have a tan smell to it, which is slightly coconut-like, but once you shower once it vanishes!

in dark because I go hard

The last attempt at making myself over is tending to my nails. Now I'm not allowed to have painted nails for work (I'm a Carer) but because I'm a rebel (Just kidding I have a few days off) I've gone all-out with this lovely purple-grey tone nail polish. I don't know where it's from because one of my clients gave it to me as a gift but it's called 'messed up' and I really like it. I find I look a little washed out with it when I'm pale but with a slight tan it looks excellent!

clearly it leaked all over my bag - joy

That's all from me for now, I hope you have, are having or have had a lovely weekend - see you soon!

x

Little Ways To Be Happier

Hi

I know that sometimes it can be hard to stay happy and it's easy to get stuck in a rut. I thought I would compile a list of things that I personally do that make me a lot happier just in case it works for anyone else who may need a little boost!

Don’t Take Things Too Seriously

Have a little fun with what you’re doing. The older you get the faster life seems to go by and let me tell you: life is far too short to take everything seriously.

Laugh At Yourself

Life is so much easier when you know how to laugh at yourself. Have you ever had one of those moments where you have completely humiliated yourself in front of someone or even a lot of people and you stand there wishing that if there was any time for the aliens to show themselves and take you away now would we be the time? Because I have had many of those. But these situations can be eased slightly, if you can see the funny side and laugh at your mistakes, chances are other people will laugh along too. 

Cuddle Your Pet

To your pet you are their whole world. They may only be a short part of your life but to them you are everything. Your pets do not care what embarrassing thing you did, the mistake you made at work, the fact that you’ve been putting off doing washing for over a month. They love you no matter what is going on in your life or anything you have done. Just a little cuddle, hold or pat to them means the world. Once you truly realise this a little pat, hold or cuddle with your pet will mean the world to you too. Nothing is more comforting to me than cuddling my little ball of fluff!

Exercise

I can almost hear the internal groans of “ergh, shut up, I’ve heard it before”. Believe me I am the most lazy person you have ever met, I would fake injury notes in school to get out of PE (Physical Education) and I never thought I would encourage people to exercise BUT you do feel better for it. I find the only way I enjoy exercise is to listen to my ipod while I do it and imagine I’m the most beautiful, fit person in the world. I’m also usually a great singer in my imagination. Exercise gives me a sense of accomplishment and it’s so nice to eventually be able to do more and more physical things with ease.

Do Something Productive

When I say ‘something productive’ it doesn’t necessarily mean some big task that will take all day. Just something little like return that email you’ve been putting off, do the dishes, get the food shop out of the way, make a start on that assignment, anything small that will make you feel a sense of accomplishment. If you do one small productive thing every day, soon you’ll slowly get on top of things and that is the best feeling.

Set Some Time For You

One afternoon a week (you can organise more or less, up to you!) set aside some time to do whatever you want – guilt free. Now, I’m one to always put off important things and watch my favourite tv shows instead but I can never properly enjoy them because of the guilt in the back of my mind telling me that I SHOULD be doing something else instead. But if you set aside some time for absolutely nothing else but yourself to do whatever you want whether that’s taking a nap, reading, watching a movie, going for a walk, drawing, going to the gym, knitting, practicing model poses in the mirror – whatever you want, you will find yourself feeling a little more rejuvenated.

Plan Something To Look Forward To

Day-to-day life can get quite boring when all you feel like you’re doing is going through the motions of work and/or study then sleeping and starting all over again. One way to make the grind of work, University or school a little more bearable is to plan something to look forward to. This can be anything, depending on your situation. It can be a small holiday away, a big holiday away, a pamper day at home doing whatever you want, a trip to the zoo, whatever it is you want! Half the fun of doing these things is the excitement of the lead up to them!

Tidy

Another thing I never thought I would be the one to encourage. I hate cleaning. It’s a lot of effort and things only end up messy again. But I find when my house or room is cluttered, clothes are everywhere and I’m falling over things as I walk to my bed that I’m a lot more stressed. Probably because cleaning it up is one more thing on my mind that I have to do at some point. Although I dislike doing it once I have tidied my room or my house (it doesn’t have to be immaculate- just tidy) I feel a lot better. I’m a lot calmer and somehow my mood just lifts – even if sometimes it’s only slightly. But just today I did a tidy up and It’s put me in quite a good mood! Accomplishment achieved.

Look After Yourself

This seems simple and anyone reading this is probably thinking ‘well isn’t that just the most obvious thing I’ve ever seen’. But not looking after themselves is something a lot of people are guilty of even if they don’t realise it (including me). What I mean by this is go to bed a little earlier, make sure you’re getting enough sleep! It sounds simple, but so many of us try to run on so little sleep and we end up feeling terrible for it. Rest when you need it, eat when you need it, take a break when you need it, try to have all three meals, and be kind to yourself. Too many times something will go wrong and we will be so horribly harsh on ourselves. You are just a person, people make mistakes and that’s okay.

Change Your Mindset

You’ve probably heard it before but happiness is a choice. I don’t think anyone wakes up and is just constantly happy without making even a slight effort to be. Of course, some people are just naturally more energetic or bubbly but it always takes a conscious effort to be happy. No one can be happy all the time, so by this I don’t mean that whenever you feel sad you have to push those sad feelings down and ignore them while trying desperately not to cry. It’s okay to feel sad occasionally and let yourself work through it. By changing your mindset I just mean to sit and think: “Everything is not perfect, but I do have some good things in my life and I want to be happy. Today I’m going to make the best of things”. Go into the day with the mindset that it could be a good day if given the chance to be!

Be Nice To Others – They’ll Be Nice Back

The way you treat others (as I’m sure you know) as a huge impact on how they will treat you. You can’t be mean, moody, inattentive or uninterested and expect other people to engage with you in a really happy, positive way. Mostly because they’ll feel like you don’t want to engage with them. The nicer and friendlier you are the more likely other people will treat you the same back. Nothing makes my day more than talking to someone who is lovely and seems to want to talk to me, even if it’s only a brief encounter at the petrol station. It’s not to say that 100% of people will be nice to you if you’re nice to them, I wish it was that way but some people are just going through a rough time or are in a bad mood and don’t always respond in the way you deserve if you’re being kind to them. But don’t let that discourage you because most of the time it will have good results and even if it doesn’t it’s nothing to do with you it’s just something they’re personally going through. Not too long ago I did a little post on kindness with some quotes, if you want to check that out click here!

Have Breakfast

I know that everyone everywhere says breakfast is the most important meal of the day. I’m not saying that (It might be, I don’t know, I haven’t looked into it). What I’m saying is that you will feel so much more energetic and just… prepared for the day if you have breakfast. I was always one to skip breakfast, I had places to be and I would much rather an extra half an hour of sleep than to be up making food. But in the last few months I’ve been making a huge effort to have breakfast because when I do my days go so much better. I find I feel less tired, I don’t get as many headaches and I feel less nauseas by the afternoon. I actually look forward to my coffee and toast every morning now.

No One Is Happy All The Time

This is very important and something I personally have only just come to truly realise. Of course it seems obvious but a lot of the time we don’t really let it sink in.  Whenever I would feel sad I would try desperately to snap out of it because it wasn’t a pleasant feeling, everyone else was happy and having fun and I wanted to be like that too. But it is okay to be sad. Sometimes something happens in our lives that makes us sad and sometimes we’re sad and not even that sure why. But that’s okay, we need to feel sadness to feel happiness. Everyone, no matter who they are or how happy they always seem will be sad sometimes. Let yourself be sad, give yourself some time, listen to some music, mope around – whatever you need. But know when to try to pick yourself up again. 

It’s Not The End Of The World

Often things will happen, these can be quite big things like failing school or university, getting fired from work, anything. And sometimes it can be smaller things that feel like a big deal or just happen to mean an awful lot to you. One thing to remind yourself is that no matter what happens or how much it feels like everything is falling apart and you’ll never get back on your feet: It’s not the end of the world. More specifically it’s not the end of your world. It may feel like it is and that’s understandable, especially when it’s a huge part of your life or something you’ve been working towards for a very long time. But sometimes things aren’t meant to be. Sometimes we just need to try again and sometimes we need to let it go.  Your world will keep turning, you will pick yourself up again and may even end up in an even better place than you had first imagined. As long as you keep trying you will be okay.

I hope that some of these have been of even a little help to you. Chin up and have a lovely day!

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